| Cannoneers go Boom! |
| December 11 - Josef Woldense scored 26 points and Drew McCormack poured in 20 as Bard added "winning at Stevenson Gymnasium" to the rather long list of Pratt dreams that won't come true, 69-63. "At least my guys have a great education to fall back on!", said a defiant Pratt coach Mike Chapman. "Oh wait, they don't." Bard finished the semester at 5-2, 1-0 in the HVMAC. The Raptors will enjoy some much needed time to themselves. Despite the success, many question the Bard miracle. Here are some tips for dealing with nonbelievers. 1. Pretend you are an answering machine, then when they are just about finished with their message, beep loudly and say, "Record over." Repeat as necessary. 2. Say to them, "Look over there!" Then, when they turn around, put a Bard bumper sticker on their back. Then set them on fire. (The inexpensive bumper stickers from the Bard Bookstore are particularly flammable.) 3. To paraphrase Monty Burns, "Let Bard have its academics and basketball superiority. Vassar will never be beaten in gentlemanly club life. Especially not the Vassar ladies." |