BREAKING: BARD TO JOIN
LIBERTY LEAGUE in 2011-12:
Vassar No Longer Able to
Duck Vengeful Raptors
June 16, 2009





Bard's meteoric rise through the ranks of Division
III college sports continued Tuesday with the
announcement that the Raptors will become full
members of the prestigious Liberty League in
2011-12.
The news was greeted by a mixture of joyous
cheering from Skyline Conference members, all of
whom are now free from the yoke of Bard
dominance.
The news was not so well-received by members
of the Liberty League, whose dreams of winning
automatic bids to the NCAA Tournament will
now die in gruesome fashion every year at
Stevenson Gymnasium.
Fear ran particularly deep at Vassar College, long
the Washington Generals to Bard's Harlem
Globetrotters. An attempt to get comments from
the student body at Vassar found the campus
nearly empty. A general evacuation had taken
place ahead of the devastation that two
Bard-Vassar games per season will evoke, even
with the move more than two years away.
Raptormania! will be profiling Bard's future
vanquished opponents in the coming months, with
Statesmen, Dutchmen and Golden Knights ahead.