| Is Turner Youngest D-III Coach? You Be the Judge August 19, 2009 |
Turner Yoder While Adam Turner, just 25 years old, proves himself to be the Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart of basketball coaches, some dubious Salieris are already trying to steal the spotlight. According to an e-mail sent to Raptormania!, Jared Yoder, the coach of Philadelphia Biblical University, claims to be 25- and born ten months after Adam Turner! It should come as no surprise, however, that Yoder does not have any proof of this late birth. No birth certificate can be found anywhere on the Philly Bible athletics Web site, leading to disturbing questions that even Lou Dobbs is too cowed to bring up on his program. Yoder's true age, it appears, is far older than 25. Raptormania! has obtained a copy of his birth certificate, which proves that not only is Adam Turner the youngest coach in Division III, but that Jared Yoder is a citizen of Kenya. No wonder Yoder won't put this up on his site: it turns out he was born in 1066, which means he not only predates Adam Turner by 918 years, he was part of the baby boom that immediately followed the Battle of Hastings. Coming from Olde Timey Town, with a father from Even Older Timey Town, it is hard to believe Yoder thought he'd be able to put this one over on the American people. |
